Dear Nilay,
The Apple tablet is dead. Now so is the Arrington tablet.
Wanna know a secret?
The iPhone and Android are about to face the same fate. And Google and Apple (collusionary partners in “racketeering conspiracy”) will spin equally “convenient” stories as to why it happened. Except for one problem: that event will collapse Apple’s stock. Which in turn will trigger shareholder outrage. Which will then extinguish Apple’s protective halo effect. And then the Feds will move in, as with Bernie Madoff. The Feds are waiting in the wings even now. How will the iPhone and Android actually be killed? That is a secret.
P.S. “Woodward & Bernsteins” are made by events like these. You are a brilliant Chicago lawyer in a sea of ignoramuses — oh, I mean journalists. Play it right…maybe you can earn a Pulitzer?
Hi, I'm Nilay Patel, from Engadget. If you've been listening to the Engadget Podcast, you know that someone has been sending me incredible Apple conspiracy theory emails since November 2009. I've finally decided that they're too good not to post in their entirety, but I obviously can't put them on Engadget... so here they are.
I actually have more that I'll be reading on the Engadget Podcast before I post them here, so stay tuned. And it's all over if whoever this is finds out, so let's keep this between you and me, okay?
I actually have more that I'll be reading on the Engadget Podcast before I post them here, so stay tuned. And it's all over if whoever this is finds out, so let's keep this between you and me, okay?
November 29, 2009
next the iPhone
